I really, really don't want to. But I should. But I don't want to. I have to. But I don't really have to. Unless I want to get an F on the test...or maybe just a D... Ugh. I should and I have to study. Or else I'll be forever stressed over this test starting today and months after. Is not studying worth all that? No, not at all. But sometimes I wish I didn't care about my grades that much. That I wasn't always such a goody-two-shoes that did everything (or most things) she was told, always doing what's *best* for her whenever and wherever. Why can't I be (somewhat) rebellious?! I've been almost as obedient as Ella since I went to first grade. Why not kindergarten? Because in kindergarten, I got a yellow spotlight (those behavior management things that teachers use for lower elementary students), and I was so shocked, since, well, I always got greens my whole kindergarten career, and I was basically almost crying and thinking, "How could this happen to me? How could I, the-green-spotlight-girl, get a yellow? I must lie to my parents to preserve whatever dignity I have left." Ahem. What dignity, six-year-old me? You're the wimpiest kid I've ever seen...been...whatever.
Sigh. I wish I was more carefree. School and grades are not life. But somehow, someone convinced me at an early age that school and grades are life, and you'd be crazy to think otherwise. I'm crazy anyway, so it doesn't really matter, but... why does life have to revolve around education?! It revolves around education even after you complete it (education, that it. Not life). It's so very, very unfair, I think. *Irritated sigh*
*Is done rambling, for the sake of rambling and...procrastinating...I'm trying to postpone studying as much as I can!!! See, me, I can be rebellious...sometimes...*rolls eyes*...I can be very pathetic when I don't even try...*
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