Uh oh

I need a Snickers bar. Fast. Something chocolate at least. Anything. I am about to face some sort of nightmare in the days to come.

How could this happen?!?!

Well, let's see Rebecca Joy, how could this tragedy have happened? Hmm.... 1) You are very, very unorganized when it comes to notes. 2) PROCRASTINATION!! 3) You hate what you're writing right now, so you avoid it as much as possible. 4) Your ongoing excuses of too much homework (falls under the category of procrastination). 5) Did I mention how very, very unorganized you are? Oh, yes, yes indeed I have. It is simply intolerable of you. Simply intolerable.

Okay, so before I head too ahead of myself, whoever "I" and "myself" are (can't distinguish between the two, they're so very similar, and like to talk to each other as if they're different people, how odd), I guess I should say what this tragedy happens to be. Here it is: September 26. September 26. SEPTEMBER 26, PEOPLE!! Can't you see the horror?! Can't you feel the pain?! Don't you understand what the heck I'm talking about?!?!

If you don't: September 26 = the death of me. The death of moi. The death of yours truly, unorganized procrastinator who loves chocolate too much. Why is September 26 the end?? Because. IT. Is. Due. IT. The THING I have to write. That horrible IT THING. I'm not even halfway done with IT yet. The IT THING. IT's driving me absolutely crazy. I hate the plot. I hate the characters. I hate this project.

And. The. IT. THING. Is. Due. This. Friday. How could I have forgotten?? How could this have happend?? It's the end of the world as we know it...

Gah. Aghh. Ughh. Bleh. My writing career was doomed when this writing project was assigned. I just had that gut feeling, that foreboding that told me: this is NOT gonna end well. I didn't know it was actually going to END, like, actually actually actually END. Gah.

This is going to be a very long, very slow, very painful death. Don't forget me, bloggers. Don't forget my chocolate obsession. Your thoughts will be the only thing that just might keep me somewhat alive...

Enough

I hope I don't have reason to rant anymore. I don't want to rant anymore. It's just depressing, really, after the initial satisfication. No more of that, now, I hope. (Please?!)

Anyway, I usually wake up around seven on school days, do whatever I do to get ready for the day, and leave around 7:30ish. So this morning, I looked at the clock and did what everybody probably did sometimes during their life, at least once (if not, that's just unnatural). I looked at the clock and... guess what? It was exactly at 7:30. Exactly. I was like: great. Now I'm late. Why didn't anyone wake me up? Why is my day already showing symptoms of being horrible? This is too unfair.

And then I realized: the house (I mean, apartment) is way too quiet. I check, and everyone is sleeping. No school today? But why? And then of course I realize it's Saturday. I know it's Friday in America, and everyone's probably eating dinner or something. So I just sat there, looking dumb and tired, with my hair all poofy and messy, and my eyes all squinty, and I'm like half-asleep, but I'm in that middle place where you can't really wake up or go back to sleep, so instead, I just come to blog about it here, with all these run-ons and horrible grammar. So yeah. Wakey, wakey! (as my biology teacher, who's from England, would say........)

I want to kick something

But I won't. Because unlike other people I know, I'll at least try to be a good girl, and not do everything I want just for the attention and drama that will probably ensue. I'll limit myself to evil thoughts, like thinking how kicking someone's butt might satisfy my enraged self. Seriously.

You can probably tell I'm pretty ticked off. Because I am really really really really really really really ticked off. Mostly at almost all the people in ninth grade, and a little bit at me for being a hypocrite, but I'll tuck that sucky guilt aside so I can rant a bit with an-almost-cleared conscience. *Apologizes for complaints/whining/ranting beforehand, I just needed to get this out...*

*clears throat* So. Why are people so shallow? Why are people so selfish? Why do I get so easily annoyed by people at this school than any I've ever attended? Why do people want me to suffer because a) I get decent grades b) I'm (notice the quotes) "too f* tall" (that in itself deserves a grr from me) c) I get decent grades d) I can speak English so well (?!?!) e) I get decent grades? Why are grades so freakishly important here? Why is it fair that I'm the one they want to suffer, when I'm suffering enough already?!!!

GGGGAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Remember Girl2 from that post on WordPress I made a while ago? Well, she can really get on my nerves sometimes (although sometimes she's really nice and fun to talk to, but...gahhhh!!!) She's basically the one that wants me to suffer. This is basically what happened, more or less:

Her: Nooo!! I got a B- on my essay...This sucks...
Me: Yeah....
Her: What did you get?
Me: You're just going to get mad at me. Like you always do. Why do you get mad at me anyway, if I get a better grade than you? (*Adds silently in head: Which is really, intolerably stupid of you, and I hope you realize it sooner rather than later.*)
Her: (*Whatever*) Whatever.
Me: Fine. I got an A. Happy?
Her: Nooo!! Ugh, I hate you. Why can't you suffer like the rest of us? I hope you get a bad grade on your next essay...
Me: (*Is silently experiencing rage, wondering what is this girl's problem...*) Um... (*Walks away to locker*)
Her: (*Follows, acts all mad, tugs on my shirt*) You're so mean. How could you get an A?!
Me:
Her: (*Squinty eye, frowns*)
Me:

And that's only ONE of the things that's ticked me off today. The other things also included people getting all "OMGahhhh" over grades, it was seriously way over-the-top.

People can be so....dramatic. (And that's saying a lot, coming from the "Drama Queen" herself. ;)

Oh, and one girl cried because she was getting verbally abused over getting the highest grade in one of our classes. And the person who was bullying her acted like she was the victim. And then all her *friends* just started grinning and laughing, not really knowing what to do, so they just went along with her...

Sigh. I'm the hugest hypocrite for not speaking up when I should, and just sitting there like a dunce, silent as usual. I'm really mad: at all those hypocritical girls and at all those hypocritical ME. Ugghlahness. Seriously.

To study or not to study

I really, really don't want to. But I should. But I don't want to. I have to. But I don't really have to. Unless I want to get an F on the test...or maybe just a D... Ugh. I should and I have to study. Or else I'll be forever stressed over this test starting today and months after. Is not studying worth all that? No, not at all. But sometimes I wish I didn't care about my grades that much. That I wasn't always such a goody-two-shoes that did everything (or most things) she was told, always doing what's *best* for her whenever and wherever. Why can't I be (somewhat) rebellious?! I've been almost as obedient as Ella since I went to first grade. Why not kindergarten? Because in kindergarten, I got a yellow spotlight (those behavior management things that teachers use for lower elementary students), and I was so shocked, since, well, I always got greens my whole kindergarten career, and I was basically almost crying and thinking, "How could this happen to me? How could I, the-green-spotlight-girl, get a yellow? I must lie to my parents to preserve whatever dignity I have left." Ahem. What dignity, six-year-old me? You're the wimpiest kid I've ever seen...been...whatever.

Sigh. I wish I was more carefree. School and grades are not life. But somehow, someone convinced me at an early age that school and grades are life, and you'd be crazy to think otherwise. I'm crazy anyway, so it doesn't really matter, but... why does life have to revolve around education?! It revolves around education even after you complete it (education, that it. Not life). It's so very, very unfair, I think. *Irritated sigh*

*Is done rambling, for the sake of rambling and...procrastinating...I'm trying to postpone studying as much as I can!!! See, me, I can be rebellious...sometimes...*rolls eyes*...I can be very pathetic when I don't even try...*